MonoShmirtz LIVE!
by TheHandicap
Summary: Since their success in "Phineas & Ferb," the two rivals have gotten a Q&A Talk Show as Side-show. The questions of the readers, which are asked in the reviews will be answered in each episode. Check weekly to see if your question was answered.
1. Series Premiere: The Monoduction

Doofenshmirtz and Monogram stood in the Tuxedos, parallel from each other. Doofenshmirtz had a crooked look – the suit was _way_ too tight on him. "Hello kiddies, Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz here…, with my nemesis' leader, Francis Monogram… the sissy." Monogram sighed; Doofenshmirtz never stopped calling Monogram's name girly.

"Ugh, can we get to the point of us being here, _Heinz?_" Monogram questioned. Doofenshmirtz imitated Doofenshmirtz' statement with a teasing voice, acting quite childish for everyone to see. He might even have a back-story behind this. "_Fine,_ now for the reason we're here. We're working together for a big budget Talk-show developed by your very own: _TheHandicap._"

"He proudly will be financing a question-answer, preferably weekly talk-show. He will take the reviews, with your names attached, and me and my _associate_ will answer them live. So remember: _Click Post A Review, Type Up A Question, Post The Review, and Wait To See Your Question Answered… LIVE!!!" _Monogram explained. Multiple bursts of confetti shot up from the stage. The two sat down on their chairs, beginning off the first episode. "To make it simple, the questions can be about _anything_, our time on **Phineas & Ferb**, our interests, or even 'What Would We Do' to speak like that popular 'What Would Yugi Do' which was created into a video on a video broadcasting website, by someone named _LittleKuriboh_, or _LK. _His work is _genius!_" Doofenshmirtz elaborated.

"Now, for a practice question from our producer. _So-and-so_ writes: '**Dear Monogram, why are all the agents of O.W.C.A. animals?**'Well, _so-and-so_, the reason is that animals actually care for humans enough to do this. Since the humans care for them, they help mankind; however, there is the chance of rogue-agents, such 'Dennis The Rabbit' who turned evil. Thus, animals are the best choice because: a) they have greater compassion towards humans, and b) nobody suspects an animal to be a secret agent." Monogram responded.

"See kiddies, it's as simple as that… so review, review, review!!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. A 'thumbs-up' appeared over the screen, _TheHandicap_ narrating:

_As my honorable hosts have said, send your reviews. They will all eventually be seen on the show, and will get in as many as possible in each episode. But, do not rush me on new episodes, as certain weeks may not be able to get new episodes out. If you ask me to rush, I'll hold it another week in advance for torturing you all. Hehehe… and Doofenshmirtz calls himself evil. If you don't want your name read with the question, make it clear when writing the question in the review. I need a liable reason why not to include a name, so be specific. We don't want 'Billy-John' to get harassed because: Isn't he too old to be watching a children's show? Yes, yes he is. So… make it bloody clear. I'm not British, just felt like saying that. So, start with the reviews, and the first __**official**__ episode will be out by the beginning of April 1__st__… April Fools. No, I wasn't kidding._

_TheHandicap_


	2. Season 1: Episode 2: Full On Heinz

It was the _Monoshmirtz_ intro, blaring to the audience for applaude. Bound to it's will, by Heinz' old invention, the _Slave-inator_, the audience claps. The _Monoshmirtz_ logo spins, definitely being dizzy for the camera-man, with Doofenshmirtz and Monogram sitting peacefully. "Well, our producer… kind of got mad at us, and well you know… budget cuts! Times are hard." Doofenshmirtz said, apologizing to his fans. However, he got silence. It seemed he was the less favorite in the crowd. Next, Monogram made the _real_ apology. "No, to be honest, the writer didn't see many reviews, so he had no questions to answer… so for now, we only have two different people to ask questions." Doofenshmirtz sighed, pointing the monitor, the camera going up, yet nothing happening. Shuffling of the hands could be heard, it being evident that Doofenshmirtz lost the remote. "C'mon! Where is the lousy remote!" Doofenshmirtz complained. With the complaints, Monogram let out a small sigh, pulling the remote out of Doofenshmirtz' lab coat pocket. "You mean this?" The Major questioned. Doofenshmirtz laughed with embarrassment, looking away as he turned on the video.

A Person stood in center-screen, holding up a microphone. They spoke lightly, offering questions to Doofenshmirtz. "Hi, my name's Bre.. My questions are for Doofenshmirtz. First, what are your true feelings about Perry the Platypus?" Bre asked, the tape being paused. Doofenshmirtz shrugged, the answer simple. "Perry the Platypus is my best friend; a _lot_ better than Balloony who left me for that red-alien-guy…" He said, folding his arms, and pouting. The _Slave-inator_ made the crowd _Oh_ in the dramatic moment. They continued the tape. "Are you currently hiring? I'd love to be your assistant, or intern?" Bre finished, the tape ending. Doofenshmirtz gasped, the question seeming shocking. He never considered it, and would keep it that way. "No, I don't need some teenager with me when I go shopping… or someone to dance in a hula-skirt for that matter!" Doofenshmirtz replied. This stung his co-host, Major Monogram thickly. He had a rebuttal.

"That was _one_ time, Heinz! And.. what?" Major Monogram finished. Doofenshmirtz laughed at his co-host's lack of needed information. Carl, the cameraman felt his privacy, and personal matters had been violated. "_No!_" The intern to Monogram shouted. His secret was now out, but he had to make sure Monogram was held back for the time, perhaps to erase his memory or something. "Major Monogram… the League of Good Guys wants to conference you in Tokyo over the giant water balloon…" Carl interrupted. This was a good enough distraction, Carl believed. This would distract Monogram on what Doofenshmirtz said long enough for him to forget about it. "Fine, Agent P… come take my place…" Monogram ordered. The Major moved from his chair, it flipping with the floor, and Agent P appearing in an identical chair in the show. "Grrrrrgggg…" Agent P chattered, making his platypus sounds.

As Monogram left, Agent P started the final video with the tape. A different person stood there, having a single question. They said: "Doctor Doofenshmirt, I'm Nick, and I'd like to know… What's the best part about being Agent P's nemesis?" Nick questioned, the screen flickering off. Doofenshmirtz needed a moment to think; there weren't many good things about. He fought with Perry a lot, and didn't find many ups. "Kind of awkward with him being here… but well, fighting my best friend. He thwarts me, and even saves me. I like being able to make an evil scheme each day, and see him try to thwart it." That was the end of the show. "Well, that's all the time we have for today… so remember to review the show, and give the writer questions, or hosts' ideas… so long!" Doofenshmirtz said, waving. The _slave-inator_ made the audience clap, and Agent P made his platypus noise. The TV screens faded to black, today's episode over.


End file.
